Sometimes I Wake Up Crying
by For All Of This
Summary: It's short and fast, but it's a one shot. Edward left Bella in New Moon, and Bella could never get passed it. She never saw Laurent or Jacob. I don't know if it's sad or good, but I wrote it. Check it out? R


**Set after Edward left in New Moon. It's a month after, so yeah. I hope you like it, it's new ******** and I'm feeling very artistically creative. **

**Sometimes I Wake Up Crying**

I couldn't think. I couldn't talk. A movie kept playing over and over in my head. Edward. One minute we were happy, the next, he was gone. It was all a lie. His face was so…serious. He really meant it when he said he didn't love me. I would never have him back, never have him hold me, never experience the loss of breath every time he kissed me. How long could I go on like this? What could ever make me happy again? Edward was my life, my love. What's a girl to do? I couldn't just move on. That was absolutely impossible, but what could I do? A tear fell down my cheek as I thought all this over. I wiped it off quickly, getting off my bed, and heading to the kitchen.

All I wanted to do was break down, but I had to stay strong, for Charlie. I started making chicken, reminding myself of how Edward didn't eat. Everything seemed to remind me of him. It couldn't be real. Charlie walked in, saying a quick hi, then went to watch the game. I appreciated him letting me be alone, I really don't know how I would hold up talking about this. After I finished making the food, I gave Charlie his and scarfed mine down quickly. I threw on my coat and left, without saying goodbye. It seemed to be a really hard word lately.

I walked for what seemed like hours, not knowing where I was going. When I stopped, I was at the Cullen's house. All the memories rushed through my head, causing me to break down. I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. My life didn't seem to matter anymore. Charlie knew I wasn't going to school, but didn't talk to me about it. I knew he would soon, but I couldn't handle it. College didn't matter either, nothing did. I was just a body, without much of a mind, and the part that was conscious, was simply occupied with thoughts of Edward and my life before. His name was something I never wanted to think, yet I constantly did. It didn't give me elation or hope, just despair, but it was something I couldn't let go off. Charlie was probably worried, so I headed home, glad of the rain. I was cold, but I didn't pay much attention to that.

My bed was welcoming, but sleep most definitely wasn't. I hadn't gotten a full sleep since that night, and when I dreamed, it was of him. It was of every smile he ever cast me, or our day in the meadow. Days when everything seemed so perfect…those would never be found again. I felt like crying again, but it seemed my eyes were dried out. All hope for sleep was gone, so I grabbed my coat again, and walked the same path to the Cullen's house. I opened the door and walked inside, finding it nearly empty. The stairs were generous today, not making me fall, and I walked my way to Edward's room. Everything was gone, except for a bed with comforters and pillows on it. I took of my jacket and shoes and climbed inside, cuddling my self into it.

His voice was all I heard, replaying all he said to me in the woods. There was no trace of a lie, none at all. It hurt me so much that he didn't even want to be _friends_. I reached for my jacket, opening the pocket. There were the sleeping pills my doctor gave to me. They gave me nightmares, but it was better than not sleeping at all, so I took one, and found myself asleep soon after.

"_Bella…" I couldn't speak through the tears in my eyes. "How foolish of you to think I could possibly be in love with you! Did you really think it was possible??" He said, towering over me._

"_I…I…"_

"_Your pathetic."_

"_Edward, baby, you coming?" his new flame called. He turned around and walked away. Suddenly I was in the meadow, snow was lightly falling. An older man approached me, appearing to walk on air. He was wearing a tuxedo, and looked around 60 or so._

"_It will hurt, but I will hurt you more…" he said, laughing hysterically. His eyes turned red, and he touched my cheek. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I fell to the floor. He started cutting me, putting weird signs into my skin. I screamed and screamed for Edward to save me, and he appeared. He laughed with his girlfriend, telling me I was weak, and that he could never love anyone like me._

I woke up startled by the thunder. My heart was racing, and fresh tears formed in my eyes. I couldn't stay here, not like this. As soon as my coat and boots where on, I ran home. There was no rest for me. It was just a dream, I kept telling myself. Just a dream.

Another walk called my name, it seemed I did that a lot lately. It was the only way to escape, from everything. To be alone with my pain, with no one hearing me. I walked and walked up the hill to the meadow. It wasn't smart to go alone, but who could I possibly go with? I wouldn't want them to see me the way I would be. I didn't know if I could take this, but I had to, I didn't know if it was real anymore. Today was unusually sunny for a day in Forks, just like when he took me. My backpack felt heavy, though it carried so little. This was a nightmare for me, and I couldn't take it anymore. I made it to the clearing, much to my surprise, and entered the meadow, taking out a pen and a notebook.

_I'm so sorry, Charlie. This wasn't how it was supposed to be._

_-Bella_

"Is this what you wanted?!" I shouted at no one. "You broke my fucking heart! Are you happy?! I loved you! I fucking loved you, and it was all a fucking game to you!"

"Bella…" I jumped at the sound of Alice's voice. "Don't do this."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because he loves you. He always has, and always will. Edward left for you, for your protection."

"Bullshit. He would never love me, I'm not the same as him, not beautiful, not fast. I'm nothing to him, and he was _everything_ to me!"

"You can't believe that. Everyone saw the love you guys had for _each other_. Please don't do this, I don't want to lose you and I don't want to lose my brother."

"Your brother never cared about me. You couldn't see the game? How he toyed with my emotions. YOU FUCKED UP MY LIFE EDWARD!" I put Charlie's gun in my mouth, and fired it.

EPOV

Two Days Later

Those words still rang in my head. I made it to the clearing just in time to hear her last words. What had I done? How could I have possibly hurt her like this. I left for her protection, to save her from everything that happened these past years, and I still hurt her. I got her killed. It was because of me that this happened. My love…she was…gone.

I brought the human girl onto the La Push reservation, knowing what would come. The house I was looking for came it to view, and I pulled into the driveway. I walked to the other side letting the brown haired girl out of the car. Poor thing, thinking I was bringing her here to meet my friends. The pack was around me in seconds, being able to smell me. I would try to do this quickly, without involving the girl.

"Run home, okay? These guys, they aren't the ones I was looking for. Run!" I said to the girl, she took off without hesitating.

"You crossed the treaty line, Edward. Why are you here?"

"Why do you think?" I said, a smile playing at my lips. It wasn't the reason, but they wouldn't grant my real wish. "I didn't know the wolves were back."

"We had an agreement." Jacob said from behind Sam.

"Fuck the agreement. I'm hungry, and I want to eat. She's just my game, I tell her to run, then I catch her."

"You can't do that."

"Try and stop me." I ran down where she was running, going slower than usually so they could stop me, and they did. They dragged me off to a small place in the woods. For minutes she played in my head. First was her sleeping, saying my name, then her smiles to me and when she figured out what I was. Her blush creeping onto her cheeks, and her deep brown eyes. The last thing I saw, was the last thing she did.

_YOU FUCKED UP MY LIFE EDWARD!_


End file.
